How often have you wrestled with the belief that “you are not enough”? How often do you ruminate about your failures and how you don’t measure up to a task, others, or your own standard?

These kinds of thoughts are debilitating to fulfilling your life purpose and walking out the common tasks and expectations of the day. We combat these beliefs with mantras, daily affirmations, and cruel punishment of ourselves for not having been quite enough. Good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. You fill in the blank of what your “not enough” is.

We search online for the next guru, course, or social media post that will put us over the edge and give us the oomph we need to overcome! We convince ourselves that we’ll do better, and be stronger next time and set about white-knuckle striving only to fall again and continue the same self-berating behavior until we are convinced that we have the “stuff” and proceed to try again.

Around and around we go on this dream-killing merry-go-round for years, even decades, and instead of doing better, we feel worse! If you practice a faith of any kind, maybe you cry out to God with the belief that you “should” be this or “should be” doing that. And your image of God is someone who sits in the heavens and has a list of those “shoulds” in His hand and you feel the shame of not behaving like God would want or commands.

If this is your life, don’t feel bad. It’s mine too on any given day. And if people everywhere were honest, it’s theirs too.

So, if this is so, are we to just resign ourselves to daily self-assessment based on some ideal of perfection? Do we live head down in shame and condemnation as we try to muster up some appearance or sense of accomplishment in our lives, our work, and relationships? What are we to do?

Ok, this may blow your mind. Get ready…..what if you agree with your not being enough and accept it? I know, crazy thought. None of us likes to admit when we’ve been defeated or haven’t measured up as people, spouses, parents, or friends. *But what if we might get the fulfillment and tranquility we so desperately need by letting go of all the “shoulds” and expectations—both our own and those of others?

Let me explain…

I lived this life for decades and every day I felt worthless, defeated, and unable to see myself as anything other than a poor excuse for a person. Although I practiced my faith, Christianity, daily and believed what I was supposed to believe as an overcomer, the reality of who I truly was every day, would berate and accuse me. This was an incessant borage of accusation that kept me under its thumb until…

Until I accepted that in and of myself, I was not whole and complete. I was not enough. I would never be enough nor do enough to get myself to an acceptable place of enoughness to win the prize. Whatever the prize was; whoever “they” say I should be. I had come to the conclusion after much soul and scripture searching that I was not enough and I would never be enough. And I sat with that truth for months. Wrestling with myself and God about it.

Wasn’t I “supposed to” be more than my failures. Wasn’t I “called” to be the head and not the tail? Wasn’t I supposed to do everything through Christ Who strengthens me?” Wasn’t I supposed to be “more than a conqueror?” On and on I would see these truths in God’s Word and find that I was not measuring up to those things and as a result, believed I was failing in my sainthood. I had failed God because I didn’t live up to what He said I was. If I couldn’t do these things then I was destined to live a life of misery.

That is until God opened my eyes to His way of living these things. First of all, I had to accept and embrace that I was not nor would I ever be enough. THAT is a hard thing to accept because my ego was fighting with it and God wanted me to surrender that ego. Like I mentioned before, I sat with this for months. And a wonderful thing happened when I did surrender. Peace became my companion.

Now before you call me a heretic and shut me off, let me give you some basis for my findings regarding this condition of “not being enough”.

Luke 18: 10- 14 ¹⁰ “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. ¹¹ The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. ¹² I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ ¹³ And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ ¹⁴ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

John 15: 5 NKJV  “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29 AMP ²⁷ But God has selected [for His purpose] the foolish things of the world to shame the wise [revealing their ignorance], and God has selected [for His purpose] the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong [revealing their frailty]. ²⁸ God has selected [for His purpose] the insignificant (base) things of the world, and the things that are despised and treated with contempt, [even] the things that are nothing, so that He might reduce to nothing the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may [be able to] boast in the presence of God.

2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP ⁹ but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.

Philippians 4:11-14  ¹¹ Not that I speak from [any personal] need, for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances. ¹² I know how to get along and live humbly [in difficult times], and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret [of facing life], whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need. ¹³ I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]

The common thread that runs through all these and so many other scriptures is that “I am not enough”! First and foremost, I am completely without the strength to save myself (Romans 5), so God had to do that. Then once I am saved, I’m still nothing without Him. I am not enough. And even after realizing this, I can never lose sight of the fact that I will never be enough. The only strength I have to do anything, accomplish any goal, fulfill any dream, parent any child, and be a good spouse, employee, or friend is not to rely on myself but to humble myself before God and say, “I can’t”.

On the other hand, accepting this realization doesn’t mean that I stop wanting to succeed, on the contrary. When I accept that I don’t have what it takes but that God does, then I stop relying on myself and my own ingenuity to produce results and rely completely on Him to accomplish His will in my life.

What does taking this posture do? It allows me to release my own ability (which is nothing) and surrender to God’s provision for any and all situations. It brings a massive amount of peace and when I start living in peace, everything and everyone around me comes to a place of peace and contentment. This is huge for my relationships.

When I rely on my own strength to accomplish things, I leave no room for the confidence of God to take over because I’m trying to do things on my own which makes those who live closely to me miserable. But when I know AND accept that I cannot do this, I then cease relying on myself and give all my confidence over to God. He is enough. He is capable. He is strong. He is creative. He is Genius. He’s the perfect parent.

Paul understood this. He was weak and inept in his own self, and was actually put in situations that allowed God to convince him of this fact ( 2 Cor. 1: 8-10 NKJV) so that his trust would not be in himself, but in God who could raise the dead.

You may be in a situation right now that feels overwhelming because you believe you have to be strong enough to take care of it. To fix it and that you’re a failure because you can’t. You’re not a failure, you’re human and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can begin to relinquish control to God and watch as He works out the solution for you. Then and only then will our lives become SUPERNATURAL!

All we have the power to do is surrender to God’s power. And even in that, God gives us the measure of faith and the will to do it (Phil 2:12-13). Even in this scripture, Paul tells us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. That doesn’t mean that our salvation is up to us. The fear and trembling come when we realize that we are not enough and it has to be by His power, but it also means that if He gives us the want to and the power to do it, we should fear NOT stepping out in His strength.

All the ways God commands us to live are never based on our own strength. When we consider the teaching of Jesus in the infamous Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapters 5-8, we see that what He is asking us to do is beyond our own strength or reasoning. To do them, we have to relinquish trust in our own power, ego, and will.

God’s ways are higher than ours and not anywhere near what we could dream up to accomplish something: (1) Give away to receive. (2) Love those who hate you. (3) Don’t retaliate but trust God’s justice. (4) Rejoice when you’re persecuted.

On and on His upside-down kingdom operates and it is totally unlike ours. That’s what makes it Holy! And here’s the clincher…it works! Surrender accomplishes way more and better than what we could ever dream up on our own. Remember, “you are not enough” and that is the best place to live because then we place all our trust in God and after all, isn’t that the point?

May Christ be glorified in all,

Crisie

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All Scripture references are from the NEW KING JAMES VERSION unless otherwise noted. Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Artwork: CANVA | Photos: UNSPLASH

*[AI paraphrasing (QUILLBOT) was used in the following sentence: *But what if we might get the fulfillment and tranquility we so desperately need by letting go of all the “shoulds” and expectations—both our own and those of others? ]