Why does not being good enough terrify us so much? What’s the big deal? I suppose, in my estimation, it’s because the human race applauds success, beauty and being “it”. We chase famous and wealthy people around like they’re gods or something. Those who are “killing it” are amazing to us while no one gives attention or applause to the common person; the person that’s not in the limelight. Not being good enough brings images and feelings of rejection and rejection means no love, no nurturing; alone and lonely. And who wants that?
Disclaimer: This devotional is not a substitute or replacement for your regular therapy or mental health. If it causes flashbacks or distress, see a mental health professional right away. I am not licensed to counsel or give therapy of any kind nor is this devotional an attempt to do so. The contents and suggestions in this devotional are ones of personal experience of my own and are not meant to be professional advice or therapy.
Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act.
I’m letting go of the negative, letting go of how I think things “should” be and embracing what they are. Embracing ME where I am, not where I pressure myself to be. Who says I’m not where I’m supposed to be. Truth is I’m where I am-period. That’s enough for me. Where does that come from anyway? That pressure to be more or other than I am. What’s that thing? Pride? Ambition? Fear? I imagine pride and fear mainly. Pride that in the eyes of others I should be more or further along. Fear in me that for some reason I am less than my own expectations. What if I’m not measuring up or where I’m “supposed” to be? What happens, really? Rejection? Missed opportunity? Left behind? Not picked? Not chosen? Not included? Not thought well of? Not noticed? Not acknowledged? A nobody? A nothing? A nonexistent? Invisible?
Fear. I’ve never been ok with myself. For as long as I can remember. Oh, there have been times in my life when I’ve approved of me, but few and far between. What if today I made the decision to be ok with Crisie? To love me, embrace me, warts and all, fat, skinny, ugly, pretty,chaos, organized motivate, lazy, nice, mean, sincere, hypocrite, rich, poor, sickness, health, better, worse, job, no job, songs, no songs, worship, no worship, house clean, house dirty, together, falling apart, creative, not creative, fun, no fun, brave, scared! So much of my energy is spent on trying to make myself approval worthy and so obsessed with it because I just can’t accept my limitations. Limitations make me less worthy of love and inclusion. That inclusion thing is a big one for me! Huge! Belonging!
Look at that? Don’t we all do this? Aren’t we all so hard on ourselves? I used to think it was just me, but I’ve come to realize that many people find it hard to embrace their shortcomings and imperfections. Mostly because they’ve been criticized for them or conditioned by families of origin or other circumstances to believe the lie that they’re not good enough. And like I mentioned in the journal entry above, what happens if you’re not good enough?
That’s a question that needs answering. Desperately! And we’ll get around to it shortly. Think back to a time that you felt “not good enough” and remember those feelings. Maybe it was when you got a “C” on your report card instead of an “A”. Maybe you were compared to a sibling or friend for some redeeming quality that they had and you lacked. Maybe you weren’t chosen as the love of his life, but another woman was. Whatever it was, it marked you. And that marking has played out in your life for decades perhaps. Sometimes we allow one thing that happened to us to steal decades of our lives. I know I have.
These negative experiences are designed to steal our life and our destiny and when we realize that, it’s time to draw a line in the sand and change what we’re believing and what we’re saying over our lives! “Not good enough” is an illusion. A lie that we believe. A lie that steals our joy and steals from others, the pleasure of knowing us because the feelings lie to us and call us rejected instead of accepted and belonging.
We must realize the lie is designed to steal, kill and destroy. And although those feelings are very real, I don’t deny that you must feel them and move forward, but more importantly, you can’t give them the power to steal your destiny any longer, because your life is not just about you, it’s about all those who are impacted by the fact that you exist!
So what do you do with a lie? You replace it with the truth!! So we’ll start by answering that question we mentioned a while ago…what happens if you’re not good enough?
Sometimes the biggest lies we believe are over things we’ve never stopped long enough to truly look into and examine. Fear is the breeding ground for lies, so what if we answered the question with every scenario we can think of and dispelled the fear? So take out your journal and begin to answer that question. What is the worst that can happen if I’m not good enough? This will also allow you to purge all your fears in these areas and rid them of their power over you! So go ahead and do this exercise.
Just like the opening scripture, the woman who was caught in adultery was probably consumed with fear. She had committed the greatest evil in her day so needless to say, she was not good enough for the crowd or God. But Jesus did a powerful thing in the midst of the crowd’s and religious leaders’ rejection of her. He saw her. Let Him see you. Let Him see your fear and doubt. Actually, He already does. He actually got down on her level to see her, look at her, acknowledge her and let her know she was no longer an outcast.
If she felt rejected by the crowd, she was not rejected by Jesus. If she felt worthless, Jesus, at that moment gave her worth. Let Him do that for you today. Whether you FEEL good enough or not or whether you really are not good enough, the cross says “that’s ok”, you don’t have to be because you’re accepted at your worst. While I was His enemy, at my worst, not good enough, Christ died for the ungodly (Romans 5:6-8)
Every lie we believe can be broken by the truth of God’s Word. Make a decision today that you’re going to give His Word the final say in your life! You’re going to let His words govern how you feel about yourself, not other people’s reactions or feelings about you. As you’ll see in the rest of the story of the woman caught in adultery, it’s what Jesus said over her that mattered more than what the crowd thought of her. It’s His Words that brought her freedom!
This is a powerful illustration of belonging!
John 8: 5-11
Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” 6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8 And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 Then those who heard it, beingconvicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
11 She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
© Crisie Hutchings/ GrannyRocksMusic/ THE WORSHIP LIFE/ Beautiful You Project
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.