I have heard the term “broken” many times. It’s almost cliché and stripped of its impact due to overuse. But in the personal lives of people who experience it, its impact is still very much alive.
Broken is not a bad place, in fact, it’s probably the most sure place you can abide. Although it is not the most comfortable. We humans pride ourselves on our abilities and self sufficiency in every area of life. We are, for the most part, a confident creature, able to handle whatever comes our way.
But when something comes into our lives that shakes us to the core, turns our self sufficiency into dread and fear, we become a creature of a different kind. Whether it’s relationship problems, divorce, cancer or other threat we are faced with, these things come to break us and most do!
Brokenness doesn’t happen over night, nor is it one swift happening, it comes in stages. First anger and resolve to overcome, then trying again, then anger again. Then comes the questions of “why is this happening?”, “how could this happen”?, and all the “what if’s”. This questioning phase takes time and energy that we expend over and over. Like questioning is somehow going to fix things. And, in some cases, it does. But in most, it just creates more angst. Which, in my experience is part of the breaking process.
We are pretty resourceful when it comes to staying on top of things and fighting. Just ask anyone who’s had cancer or other physical ailment. We search for doctors, spend outrageous amounts of money because we don’t want to succumb to what the doctors are saying is the outcome. It is natural to buck up against every enemy to stay alive. To fight until our last breath. We would rather die than submit to the bullies of life and, really, who could blame us.
But there are situations when death is not eminent but other failures are and at the end of our kicking and screaming and fighting comes the surrender. Our energies are gone, our resolve has wasted away in the fight and we have nothing left. We have no questions, no prayers that suffice to our approval and no more explanations we can give. We are tired of talking about the battle every time we get around people and they have grown weary of the same old conversation too.
Our sweat and tears have all but dried up and even when we open our mouth to cry out over the issue, there is no more sound, just surrender of our souls and our hearts in utter exhaustion.
Have you been there? You might be there right now. So what do you do? Well, you may want to punch me when I say this, but what can you do?
Think about it, what do you when you’ve done everything known to man. You trust. You give up in trust and worship. God knows and sees all and even if you have yelled and shook your fist at Him in either defiance or desperation, He still holds the answer. I simply trust. I fall and trust. I give up and trust. I have nothing left but to trust.
Is that enough? I don’t know. But it’s enough for this moment, this second.
Trust, it’s got to be enough!
Let Christ be glorified in all!